..everything that I’ve been missing.  Give me your love for humanity.  Give me your arms for the broken hearted, the ones that are far beyond my reach.  Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten.  Give me Your eyes so I can see.  Yeah.”  ~ Brandon Heath, Give me Your eyes

Give me Your heart, for the broken hearted…

One of the things that is hardest as a parent is watching your children slip.  I know that sometimes there are lessons you have to let them learn the hard way.  The bad thing is, many times there are ways we can step in – a call or email to a teacher here, a lie (exusing your child’s absence) there…and all of the sudden, you are the one who has created the monster.  Your child has no fear of the repercussions of their actions…because mom or dad always bails them out.

Since becoming a Christian, I’m often overwelmed by the concept that no matter how much I love my child, God loves me more.  WAY more.  It is a beautiful thing, really – having insight to the unconditional love of God…but overwhelming at the same time.  How can we comprehend anything that great? 

I understand, in a miniscule measure, His love for us….but also His heartbreak when we turn away. 

I was introduced a couple of years ago to a girl the same age as one of our daughters.  She’s a gorgeous girl – one you would think has everything going for her.  As many friends of our children have done, she friended me on Facebook, so I see any of the updates she puts out there.  The hurt, and the seeking I can see in her…well, it’s almost physically painful, as I remember my own life as a teenager, and even many years ago, when I was still seeking God. 

I believe that we were all created with a desire to be in relationship with God.  When we aren’t, there’s a piece of us missing that we struggle to fill.  Some try to fill it with sex, others with food, some with shopping or material things, and some with empty relationships.  I have definitely learned that empty people have a hard time filling others up.

The only one who can fill that void is God.  The bad thing is, you can’t just tell someone that.  Well, you can, but people laugh it off as trite, or as you being some sort of religious kook.  There are some people who will never be open to hearing, or feeling that, or who need to be at their very breaking point before they can see it.

Looking at our daughter’s friend, it’s like seeing a glass full of water.  As time goes by, the water just evaporates – it empties bit, by bit…sometimes the water level leaves a mark.  Sometimes the water becomes fouled as it sits there.  But bit by bit, it’s gone.

When I think back about the day I was saved – the first time I ever really physically felt God’s presence, I knew the true meaning of having a cup that overflowed – with fresh, sweet, water of the spirit.  I remember walking on air that day – fully filled by the Spirit, and knowing that, no matter what happened, or how anyone reacted, it was ok.  I was like walking around in my own little Holy Spirit bubble. 

I wish I could give that feeling to others.  I wish I could impart it to them, so they would understand the beauty of that puzzle piece snapping in to place – the feeling that no matter where you are, or what you’re doing, you are completed because the part of you that longs for that spiritual union is fulfilled. 

But it doesn’t work that way. 

And in that understanding, I feel the heartbreak God must experience as we do more and more that drives us away.  More and more that makes it harder for us to believe He is truly there, waiting for us, forgiving us, and loving us no matter what we’ve done, what we’ve been through, what lies we’ve bought in to.  He never promised us the road wouldn’t be hard, only that he would be with us through it – and I know now that He heals every hurt we give to Him.

As a ‘fixer’, it’s hard to watch someone riding the train to more and more hurt.  It’s hard to watch a self-destructive life implode, never knowing how far down someone has to go.  We’re told we are the light and the salt in the world…that if we just keep letting God shine through us, others will eventually see, and seek for themselves. 

But I have never been good with waiting. 

Matthew 6:33-34 (NIV)

³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.