There are some things I very definitely struggle with keeping my patience about.  Having anyone (other than my husband) interfere with my parenting is ONE of those things. 

I’m trying to explain this without going into excruciating detail, so hopefully this all comes out clearly.  Anyway – two of our kids (Peeps and Pez), were supposed to be leaving today to go on vacation with their grandfather.  My husband is leaving tomorrow to meet up with them, but the cool thing about leaving today was that they would get to play in the hotel pool tomorrow before their Dad gets up there.   SO I had been very clear with them – you have to finish x, y, and z before you can leave with your grandfather.

Not surprisingly, they didn’t finish.  Not even close.  When I picked them up from school today, I told them – you have 40 minutes before your grandfather is supposed to be here.  You have GOT to get your Thursday chores done BEFORE he gets here, or you’re not going with him.  They had started the chores last night, so they should have been done already.  As usual, however, they messed around and didn’t get their stuff done. 

So noon rolls around, and my father-in-law sticks his head in the door to see if they’re ready to go.  I told him no – they had to finish their jobs, and then they’d be out.  He tells them “Ok, you guys have 5 minutes, then I’m leaving.”  I was fine with that.

THREE minutes later, he comes back to the door, sticks his head in, and says “BOYS – stop what you’re doing, we’ve got to GO!”

::cue head explosion::

Ok, here’s the thing – they were expressly told what to do.  And that included finishing their chores.  And dude, who has ZERO parenting skills, just stuck his head in and redirected my children WITHOUT EVEN DISCUSSING IT WITH ME?  When I had JUST told him they HAD to finish it.  SO I stomped outside, and told him,  “Hey – if you can’t wait for them because it doesn’t fit in with your schedule – go ahead and leave.  I told them this would happen if they didn’t hurry.”  So again, he tells me they need to hurry up!  (Never mind, this man is not on any schedule and does NOT have a timeline, that’s just how he is.)  So I told him I’d go in and crack the whip some more.

SO I go in, both boys are standing there, telling me they’re done, and I can tell – they’re not.  But I let them go anyway.  The had gone through the motions of the chores – just didn’t really do them RIGHT – and I let them go anyway, because of the pressure from my father-in-law.

I kind of feel like FAILMOM rather than Supermom in all this.  I shot off a few angry text messages and emails to my husband as this was all going on, and he texted me back, and completely took the wind out of my sails.  He reminded me that we’re to keep our eyes on God, even when the big distractions (like his father) get in the way.  No, that didn’t answer the parenting question of whether it was right to let them go, but it DID dissipate the anger in a flash.  His father…well…we all know he’s just not the brightest bulb in the box.  He THINKS he is – OH does he think he is – and that’s probably why it grates on me so much.  But did the boys get it?

Thankfully, when my husband heads up there tomorrow, he’s going to have a long discussion with them about it.  And if I know him, they’ll pick up some extra chores around the cabin this weekend to make up for it.  I have to accept my FIL for who he is.  *I* cannot change him.  I CAN pray for him, and try to be a better person myself. 

It’s just REALLY REALLY REALLY hard sometimes!